Driverless Car Regulation

by wisdomhunt

One way to ensure that a new industry gets off the ground is to get the government involved right off the bat.

Imagine how much better the internet would be if the government had helped Google by mandating how their search algorithms should work. Remember when people used to “Google” things? How quaint.

If the government had been involved, they’d probably be a viable company today instead of trying to break into the automobile and optometry businesses.

But alas, they are trying to break into the automobile business, but their driverless cars have unfortunately been a failure to-date. They have only driven 300,000 miles so far with zero accidents. I’m not a mathematician, but that is a terrible accident rate of undefined.

So it is great to hear that the government is finally going to step up to the plate and make this business viable before it is even attempted.

The first move is to make the passenger sit in the driver’s seat, even though they aren’t driving. Sounds like good logic so far. I always sit in the driver’s seat when I am driving, so why not mandate that you sit there when you’re not driving? Perhaps if you’re handicapped that won’t be ideal, but if you’re handicapped what are you doing driving a driverless car?!

The second move is to institute a new tax of 1.875 cents per vehicle-mile travelled that driverless cars must comply with. I consider April 15 to be one of my favorite holidays (second only to Columbus Day), so additional taxes and forms and tracking by the government of my miles driven (hopefully via constant GPS) is another great incentive. It is also necessary because…

The last move is to mandate that driverless cars run only on alternative fuels. With hybrids being so popular already (2.2% of new cars in 2011!), how can this go wrong? 8,000 (!) Chevy Volts were sold year alone! I see so many Volts on the roads these days that I’m thinking about buying even more stock in GM (on top of the purchase I already made with my taxes in the auto bailout).

Hopefully they mandate the use of the batteries from A123 that exploded when they were exposed to water during Sandy. A123 could probably use some more business:

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